if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
