Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
