I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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