elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
ok first of all what the fuck
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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