i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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