she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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