well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
