I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i permit you to call me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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