if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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