hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
