I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
