what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
