Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize