Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
