mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
