dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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