i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
