I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
