Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
