theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize