you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
