Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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