Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
