Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
