Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
