one might say we're banned from that church
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
