we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
