You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
