Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No subtext here. People are naked.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
