I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
