The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Enjoy the penises
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
