what if every blade of grass was a penis?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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