my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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