Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize