Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
