i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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