I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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