All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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