Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
