oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
