So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
