also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize