why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize