OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
