38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
