i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My dick has a subreddit
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
