You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
