Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
