I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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