Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You work out of a Hotel?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
