She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
