yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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