My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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