Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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