so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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