I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
