It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
