we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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